Reports

A Tournament of Firsts, Arvika Festival, Sweden, 20th - 22nd of February 2026

Written by Adrian, edited by Daniel

FRIDAY - A gathering of DuncesSupreme Leader Adrian, Elder Dunces Vincent and Magnus I, and Dunces (holding a range of internal titles too numerous to list) Magnus II, Eyvind, and Joakim convened at Burger King at Oslo Central Station at 10:00 AM on Friday. Joakim also brought along Dunce-friend Raphael Ehrensperger, who had enjoyed a taste of the world famous Drammensian hospitality the previous night.These upstanding gentlemen and trading card aficionados were united by a singular objective: the 11th edition of the Arvika Festival — the annual pilgrimage to neighboring Sweden, a veritable feast of beer, friends, flips, and Old School Magic.
The departure was predictably delayed, so Vincent and Eyvind seized the opportunity to settle a Dunce League match. As usual, the stakes felt unnecessarily high. With the standing at 1–1 and the tenison-o-meter through the roof, the deciding game was ultimately conceded to the arriving train — logistics once again proving the stronger competitor.The train departed predictably slightly behind schedule, and hostilities resumed almost immediately. Eyvind’s upgraded flyers soon overwhelmed Vincent, and the remainder of the journey was spent trading cards, debating deck configurations, and squeezing matches onto tables clearly not designed for competitive cardboard warfare, or anything else for that matter.

Vincent looking like a man with a plan

Eyvind, Joakim, and Magnus II were scheduled to compete in the Team Unified Championship under the banner The Dudes of Dunce, while Adrian, Magnus I, and Vincent - being Elders, after all - attended strictly for the Gathering itself: Observing in quiet dignity while mumbling judgmental observations based on nothing substantial.Arrival in Arvika was followed by the customary uphill migration to the hotel, decks and luggage in tow. Check-in was handled efficiently, after which attention turned, as tradition demands, to Systembolaget, a uniquely Swedish establishment purveying alcoholic beverages.Midway through the first beer at the hotel bar, Sindre appeared several hours ahead of schedule, having opted to drive rather than take the originally planned train. He was clearly excited - having also been promised all of Eyvind’s Power during the main event on Saturday. While the Team Unified Championship kicked off, the remaining members located a local pizzeria. The shrimp-heavy menu was navigated with deliberate caution — memories of the Pizza Incident of Istvan Open still lingering — but food and beer were ultimately secured without incident.

Financial decisions

Back at the hotel, Rob Alexander was already in place. With 180 players expected the following day, the absence of queues presented an opportunity too valuable to ignore. Cards were signed, playmats and prints acquired, and financial decisions were made with long-term consequences.

Team Powerdong, featuring Dunce Tor, and, confusingly, Espen Duncebane

Casual games and additional beer followed. The Elder Dunces retired at a responsible hour. The Team Unified players did not. The Dudes of Dunce lived up to their name and were last observed well past midnight, gesturing emphatically while balancing multiple beverage units. The following day’s explanations would include mana screw, elevated blood alcohol concentration, and mutual blame. The team even managed what is probably a first in history: A loss by walkover. Having eyed the coveted Dead Last prize after understanding which way Lady Luck was tip-toeing during the contest, the Team got a bye, but convinced the judges to declare it a loss instead of a win, thus swaying the scales of Lady Justice (Lady Lucks stricter older sister), and setting a dangerous prescedent.

Magnus II explaining how to eat Artifacts properly to Joakim

Saturday – The Main EventThe quality of the R&R varied considerably across the delegation. A steady stream of coffee and breakfast was inhaled before a traditional Supreme Leader–initiated walk through Arvika, allowing both circulation, introspection, reflection and genuflection. This ritual is (as many of them are) based on a very pragmatic requirement: securing hydration and provisions in the form of more-or-less-pure-water, sandwiches and assorted nuts, and with vests donned and decks packed, the crew returned to the venue.

Packed venue

The venue contained aa plethora of familiar faces to greet, and the atmosphere was, as always, exceptional. The Dunce merchandise that was brought along for handing out turned out to be popular among the other players, suggesting either strong branding or low impulse control among attendees. Possibly a combination of both, knowing the Old School Scene.At the bar, Steinar appeared, a friend of the gang, and an all round solid guy. Steinar has expressed interest in membership in the exclusive club of Dunces lately, brought with him several cards for the Crew as a form of obeiscance, but also the prize for the internal Crew League - a booster from the Dark traded for cold, hard cash. Several previously held extraordinary board meetings concerning his membership (conducted with suitable gravity), resulted in a formal invitation being extended.Steinar accepted graciously, visibly pleased. The crew thus welcomed its newest Apprentice Dunce. Whether a trace of hesitation crossed his face during the handshake with the Supreme Leader remains a matter of interpretation. A group photo was hastily assembled, and shortly thereafter the event commenced.

These are actually 9 grown men, taxpayers and valuable contributors to society, believe it or not

Several members pursued prizes for Best Powerless and Best Gentleman, while internally the titles of Supreme Leader and Least Dunce remained the true measures of consequence.

Dignified competition

After four rounds, dinner was announced, and the internal standings were as follows:Magnus I: 3-0-1
Magnus II: 3-0-1
Tor: 3-0-1
Joakim: 2-0-2
Adrian: 1-0-3
Eyvind: 1-0-3
Steinar: 1-0-3
Vincent: 1-0-3
Sindre: 0-1-3At this stage, tournament prize ambitions had become a matter of statistical anomaly for the most part. The internal titles, however, remained very much in play. Magnus I appeared the leading candidate for Supreme Leader, while Magnus II and Joakim were well positioned in the contest for Least Dunce. Sindre was flustered and in denial - was this going to be another Dead Last, despite being fully Powered?Dinner was consumed efficiently, after which the crew regrouped in Adrian and Vincent’s room for measured engagement with Systembolaget provisions. Fed and marginally less sober, they returned to the venue to resolve the matter conclusively.Magnus I advanced toward the upper tables with visible confidence, while Adrian and Vincent settled into their more familiar territory further down the standings. Aspirations of clinical, disciplined play gradually gave way to something looser, though no less determined.

Miami Vise, aka a trio

As the rounds progressed, an unexpected compression occurred. Magnus I drifted downward in the standings, drawing nearer to the other Elders. By the time the final round approached, the internal Elder situation had crystallized:Adrian: 3-0-4
Magnus I: 3-0-4
Vincent: 2-0-5The final pairing would determine who retained the vest bearing the title Supreme Leader (Editors remark: Retained, Adrian? Not claimed? Methinks someone had a pretty clear idea of the title ownership going into the competition this day).Adrian faced a self-imposed handicapped Joakim, who required intermittent structural support from the nearest wall while deploying his cards. Magnus I faced Odd of Farmstead MTG fame. Adrian closed his match efficiently and, while passing another Dunce-off between Sindre and Eyvind, quietly encouraged Odd to show no mercy. Odd complied. Magnus I fell, and the title remained where it was.

Mentor and protegee in their natural habitat

When time was called, the final crew standings read as follows:(Editors remark: Please excuse the piss-poor images: half the crew have cheap phones due to dubious financial understanding in other areas than trading cards, half the crew lack a basic understanding of basic composition and cropping, and half the crew were inebriated to a degree during the tournament. The half that lacks a basic understanding of maths could’t attend)Apprentice Tor: 5-0-3 (34th)

Apprentice Steinar: 5-0-3 (52nd)

Dunce Magnus II: 4-0-4 (68th)

Elder Dunce Adrian: 4-0-4 (89th)

Dunce Sindre: 3-1-4 (101st)

Elder Dunce Magnus I: 3-0-5 (103rd)

Elder Dunce Vincent: 3-0-5 (117th)

Dunce Joakim: 3-0-5 (120th)

Dunce Eyvind: 2-1-5 (139th) and 1st place in the category Satanic Angle for Deck Pic

Fatigue eventually overtook ambition, and the crew withdrew for controlled nightcaps and post-event analysis of questionable keeps. As always, the festival delivered: professionally organized, densely populated with old friends and an expanding roster of new ones.On the train home the following morning — tired but quietly satisfied — the crew reached the only logical conclusion available: a return in 2027 was not merely likely, but inevitable.Arriving back home in Oslo, a text appeared from newly minted Apprentice Dunce Steinar - in which he explained he had gotten cold feet. Feeling that his involvement in NOSMTG was not compatible with the apprenticeship in another club, he graciously rejected his invitation, marking a historic first: a new record for shortest crew membership.

At The Mountains of Dunceness, High Up In The Mountains, Norway, 30th of January -1st of February 2026

Written by Daniel, yet again in a first person narative

Our esteemed Primus Magnus, Elder Dunce and the crew's only Doctor, requested the presence of the remaining Elder Dunces (plus a few of their personal assistants) up at his cabin, high up in the Norwegian Mountains, to celebrate his 40th birthday, and the elders answered the summons, journeying separately and discreetly as per the instructions in the writ.I had the honours, as Magnus The First's older brother, of driving with the birthday boy himself, in his luxurious vehicle, which he had borrowed from his mother-in-law for the occasion. The journey went according to plan, with no severe increases in friction between the tires and the icy roads, only minor slips, and after a pleasant shrimp sandwich in Hillbilly country, my brother and I were the first to arrive.

Pleasant Shrimp Sandwich

Magnus The Second, having borrowed my brother's name, but neither his-, nor my brother's mother-in-law's car, transported another set of Brothers, the Mortensen ones, in his OWN car, albeit neither of these Brothers were to turn 40 this weekend. Nevertheless, they all arrived at the cabin shortly after.Birthday Boy Magnus Primus was ceremoniously gifted a CE Mox Emerald for his 40 laps around the sun, mostly paid for by his significant other, somewhat paid for and procured by his beloved crew mates. This garnered polite applause and general cheer in the cabin.

A 40 year old boy

Handouts this time around were exclusive Mountains, not exclusive in- and of themselves, but by the fact that every participant was to receive alters made by me on site, based on requests. The requests ranged from banal to untenable, but I managed to squeeze out some passable artwork.

Vincent's request: Adrian

Adrian's request: Me

Magnus The Second's request: An Atog

Sindre's request: A Swamp

My request: An Alter

The cabal's last participant, Skateboarder Extraordinaire and West Coast Buddy of mine, Sindre Mons, was detained over the mountains, and knocked on the creaking door after many rounds of Dunce League play had already been undertaken, in which Adrian steamrolled over my Goblin Control deck with his highly unethical black/red Sinkhole-Cesspool of a deck. Not the way Garfield intended.His brother Vincent also managed to tear me a new one, with his Mono Green Mana Machine deck, this one a bit closer to how the game is meant to be played, but still reeking a bit of Adrian's funk, containing black for Mind Twist and other regressive stuff. Keep your filthy hands off other people's lands and hands, brothers Mortensen, that's my only plea.

Dunces Duncing

After Sindre's arrival, I had an epiphany, in which a voice in my head (not Adrian's) told me to concentrate on my Control/Parfait Pieces early in the game, and cast my Goblins later, which turned out to work great (thanks, voice-in-my-head-and-not-adrian). I subsequently won 2-0 over Magnus The Second, 2-1 over Magnus The First and 2-0 over Sindre. Having regained a modicum of dignity, I decided to quit while ahead, and went to bed and slept peacefully, only distubed occasionally by Sindre's apparent constricted breathing apparatus.

Sindre very fittingly being hit in the head with the Hyppie Bolt and the Sindre Bolt

Saturday started off in a civilized fashion, with fried eggs, bacon and narrow eyes, and absolutely noone had any plans of exiting the cabin for any outdoors activities whatsoever. The esteemed crew instead sharpened their pencils and dry rolled their D20's in preparation for Magnus Primus' planned Dungeon Crawl Classics Session, continuing with our lucky surviving characters from last year.I was particularly excited about continuing the adventures of Ashton Palmer, Ditch Digger-Cum-Wizard, proud owner and wearer of a pair of genuine Necropants fused to his skin below the waist. A real charmer, that one.The adventure took us through many turns and twists. Vincent had to communicate solely by using his eyes before he managed to take control over a wildly overpowered four armed Ape Man at some point, we quarreled over strategy and ethics of solidarity versus the acquisition of shiny, shiny gold pieces, Sindre's cleric managed to cast a few very well placed Protection From Evil at the expense of all his stats, but my biggest hope was finding a matching jacket and tie for the Necropants, but no luck.

Funky DCC Dice Pool

Dungeon Crawlers

Adrian looking not so happy about the direction the party is undertaking

Vincent's surprisingly expressive eyeball communication

Sunday came early this weekend, Magnus Primus' actual birthday. Some more polite applause and general cheer was handed out, before the Dunces ate their share of breakfast, cleaned the cabin, and left for their respective headquarters, having spent yet another couple of days in excellent company.10/10, would celebrate Magnus Primus' 40th birthday again.

Edge Man, Tilburg, The Netherlands, 16th-17th of January 2026

Written (in the first person for once) by Daniel

A long time ago, way back in 2025, a certain Mr. Emil Van Daele became our follower number 500 on Instagram, prompting us to contact the gentleman and offer him a couple of crew patches to commemorate the momentous occasion (momentous for us, not him).The story of these patches and their travels to The Netherlands is an Epic of Odyssean properties in itself, involving many modes of travel and many moons of time passed before reaching Emiel, but they arrived in the end. Emiel offered to send us some stuff in return, and amongst all the cool stuff was an invite to the tournament he arranges in Tilburg, NL: Edge Man 2026. We love The Netherlands, we love Magic and Tournaments, so the offer wasn’t a very hard sell.

Edge Man 2026

Now, Emiel’s story is worth a mention here: Some years ago he bought a Commander precon that turned out to be all misprints of the 50/50 variety, a completely unique thing. He subsequently auctioned it off for an exorbitant amount of money, bought his Power 9 set, and was even recognized by WOTC in the form of his own Magic Card: Emiel, The Blessed. Cool story, and an even cooler guy.

Blessed be

Fast forward with a lengthy montage of orb flips, game losses and other stuff, we’ve arrived all the way in 2026, in the here and now, and the paragraphs you are about to read (or not) is the story of when an official delegation of Three Dunces, Supreme Leader Adrian, Flopmaster Vincent and myself, Propaganda Minister Daniel, went to Tilburg to make names for ourselves on the continent, and completely failed to do so, or possibly did, but for all the wrong reasons.The Brothers of Fire - Adrian and Vincent - went to NL ahead as a form of scouting party, but ended up visiting relatives and soaking in alcohol for a few days prior to the tournament, without notable result with regards to any actionable intel the rest of the crew (i.e. me) could use to their (my) advantage. The Soaked Brothers met up with me in Tilburg on Friday, straight from their midday visit to a local brewery, having been forced to sample many, many, many of their beverages. I made sure they ordered plenty of nutrients in preparation of the Friday’s 3 vs 3 event - Battleworld - that was due a couple of hours later. Read more about the format here if you’re curious:

• Battleworld

We discussed our strategy over plenty of roasted meat and suitable carbohydrates, and the discussion can ble concluded in one sentence: Make sure we get to play as many of our 12 Ankhs as possible. After this short and productive meeting, we paid our dues and wandered towards the bar where the event was to be held.We arrived there and met up with some familiar and some new faces, and two minutes into game one I was accused of being a nazi. Now, here you might think that the temperature went up a bit fast, but it wasn’t due to the competitive nature of the Dutch, but rather the fact that I was wearing my trusted Lonsdale hoodie, a brand of clothing only worn by right wing goofs in NL, apparently. That was news to me, and the thought struck me that people had been giving me a side eye all the way from the airport.I am of the opinion that fascist of all kind (whether they’re wearing my favourite brand of hoodies, a blue suit and a red tie, or any kind of garb at all) do a mandatory Basic Human Decency Boot Camp, lasting until the candidate understands that it’s fair to give people a chance to show who they are before any judgement is passed, and that fear of the unknown and unfamiliar is stupid, inhibiting and counterproductive, but I digress. Anyway, I assured the other participants in the event that we came in peace, and all was good in the world. At least there at the venue.The Battleworld format is intricate, to say the least, and during our rounds against our three competitor teams, several discussions regarding the rules had to be ironed out, but we were prepared for this by our esteemed host, Mr Van Daele. We lost 4 out of 4 of the games, but we did it gracefully, as always, and only the last of the games gave us any real traction towards our 12 Ankh strategy, where we had 5 on the board at one time. As a form of consolation, I won the Biggest Pussy Award, due to the fact that I drank fizzy water all evening (the result of a hungover cost/benefit analysis in 2019). I love cats, both small and big (even though I’m more of a Dog person) so that was much appreciated.

Cat Lover

After the awards ceremony, we politely excused ourselves and trudged back to the hotel for some much needed rest before Saturday’s main event.

SaturdayThree dunces met up for breakfast, and I had decided to take advantage of the recent price hike of Candelabra of Tawnos, and trade mine for some CE/IE power pieces if possible. I headed towards the venue early to flip the vendor’s folders before the good stuff vanished. NL´s Powernegen was there, and I got my first Power Pieces - A Mox Ruby and a Mox Pearl - in addition to 2 Plateaus, which I consider a win in itself.

A Selection of my Loot

The tournament started off in the usual way for my part, with a 0-2 loss, and continued that way to the bitter end, all 0–2´s except one game 1-2, so I was in line for my second Dead Last patch (which I certainly got). Supreme Leader Adrian told to me to put the Moxes in my deck before the tournament, which I stubbornly didn’t do for some reason, and came to regret later on. Lesson being, never listen to any advice given. Was that the lesson? Yes, that was it.

My very thematic but also very stupid Escape From Goblincatraz deck

The other guys fared a bit better, but not much. Adrian faced The Deck (0-2), Land Tax/Ivory Tower Combo (2-1), Mono Blue Flyers (2-1) Counterburn (1-2), Four Colored Tetravite/Keldon Warlord (1-2) and Green/Black Land Destruction (1-2), ending up 2-4, but claims he had many close games. He also blames his somewhat hungover state of mind, but adds that that’s the price you pay for having fun, which is his cost/benefit analysis. He also commends all the pleasant players he faced, the cheap beer and the excellent food. A not insignificant win for Adrian was however the fact that he managed to save my Beta Bolts from my deranged defacement plans, and trade them against the two Plateaus I needed for the playset, a playset of Unlimited Bolts and some cash. The disturbance in the force Adrian has been sensing has been rectified, and I still get to deface four Bolts.

Supreme Leader Adrian's Deck

Four Beta Bolts saved from Sharpie Defacement

Vincent shot off with a blast, playing 2-0 in his first two matches, but started loosing his nerve against Erwin and his fully powered robots in the third game, ending 1-2. The fourth round ended 1-2 as well, and the remaining ones were 0-2. Vince never wants to see another Triskelion again, he states.

Flopmaster Vincent's Deck

Despite our lousy (but highly duncelike) results, the Tournament was a real treat to be a part of, the Dutch people being of the calmest and coolest people on this planet to be around, and all of us have nothing but praise for all our opponents and the other competitors, even though they thought I was a nazi at some point. I even received a special patch from Remi, the Magic Loving Wiener Dog present at the tournament, after having expressed to his owner that I miss my own dog back home, and I consider that patch to be the very coolest of all the stuff that I’m bringing back.

Badge of Honour

As an aside, it’s worth mentioning that I became extremely nervous during an incident at the airport on the way back, where the Airport Security guy swiped the top of my cards inside my collection deck box, put it into the machine, and a big red ALARM and an omnious beeping sound materialized. Two other security guys immediately grasped for latex gloves, and the look on Adrian and Vincent’s faces standing next to me, were probably only surpassed in degree of horror by my own. They took a second sample which let me off the hook, I guess, and the staff removed their gloves which gave me the opportunity to breathe again, collect my stuff and for us to be on our way.

Post Incident Dunce League Match at the Airport, which I also lost 0-2

So, despite the fact that I’ve been accused of various nefarious intentions this weekend, and all the brutal beatings I took (on the board, not in the form of fisticuffs), I had a blast playing the Edge Man Tournament, and we’d like to formally thank Emiel and all the rest of the awesome people we’ve met over the last couple of days. We’re most assuredly coming back if you’ll have us.Signed, Big Cat Lover and Propaganda Minister,
Daniel

Losing against ErhnamGeddon, not drawing the one Bolt I needed despite Wheeling and a Howlling Mine on board

Someone obviously drew the Bolts they needed against Vincent

Vincent is going to have nightmares of robots for a long time

A smile only a visit to a Dutch Brewery can produce

Adrian's Loot

Figueroa Cup, Nesodden, Norway, 29th of December 2025

Written by Adrian, slightly edited by Daniel

Supreme Leader Adrian hosted a Christmas tournament in honor of his inconveniently timed birthday (same as infamous historical figure Jesus) for the third time in a row, though this year the tournament was rebranded and named after celebrated American philanthropist Arthur Figueroa, who donated an Alpha Volcanic Eruption to do with as we saw fit, which was give it to the winner of the feast Adrian hijacked from that historical figure. The format was once again 7-point singleton, but this time with a twist: Scryings! Before cards were shuffled, however, the crew convened for its annual board meeting—a formal and dignified affair in which virtues and shortcomings alike would be brought to light, discussed and dissected.

Group photo taken with Adrian's Fancy New Digital Camera. Note the addition of Magnus The First in Post Production, who bailed right after he saw that he wouldn't be snagging the Supreme Leader title this evening.

Annual Board MeetingThe meeting commenced only slightly behind schedule. Six members were present: Supreme Leader Adrian, Apprentice Dunce Jakob, Dunce Sindre (who travelled all the way from the West Coast with another batch of his Homemade Cider), Elder Dunce Magnus I, Ancestral Dunce Magnus II, and Flopmaster Vincent. Propaganda Minister Daniel was scheduled to attend digitally from the tugboat he spends his working weeks inhabiting, but was prevented from doing so after—highly questionably—scheduling a fire drill on the vessel at the exact same time as the board meeting.

Daniel's Fire Drill.

Supreme Leader Adrian Supreme Leadering.

Adrian was unanimously elected chair and - despite occasional interruptions and predictable digressions - managed to guide the group through the agenda. The crew’s tournament participation over the past year was reviewed, with particular emphasis placed on Magnus II’s performance at the Fishing Bay Testival, which was formally presented as an example to be emulated for those wishing to be considered least possible Dunce of Dunces.

Three supplicants: Two Magni and One Propect.

The crew’s social media presence was also addressed, followed by a dedicated toast to Sindre Mons for his unique skateboard-demonstration—still the crew’s only legitimate claim to viral recognition at nearly 4 million views on Instagram. No shit. That is, there's some defecation in the video, but it's true about the nearly 4 million views. Financials, membership growth, and the strategic vision for 2026 were subsequently discussed, before the meeting was adjourned with applause and several hear, hear's and sincere toasts.

TournamentElder Dunce Abel arrived late and out of breath, just in time to witness the other six players seating themselves for round one. With Hangaround Fredrik still absent, Abel opened a beer and focused on regaining oxygen while the remaining participants cut decks and stared each other down across the tables.

Some of the Loot available for attendees.

The stakes were considerable. In addition to being a Supreme Leader Trial and the accompanying contest for the title of Least Dunce, the aforementioned Alpha Volcanic Eruption donated by crew benefactor and friend, Arthur Figueroa, was to be handed to the winner. The card lay on prominent display, alongside a year’s worth of accumulated crew merchandise. Each participant also received an Unlimited basic land, ceremonially signed by all players.

Unlimited Basics.

The tournament itself was played as a full round-robin, ensuring that every participant faced every other participant exactly once. This structure guaranteed both maximum fairness and prolonged exposure to one another’s deck-building decisions, tactical errors, and personal shortcomings.Deck configurations were as follows:

Vincent fielded a black-red list, allocating points to Demonic Tutor, Guardian Beast, Hymn to Tourach, Sol Ring, and Icy Manipulator

Adrian played white-blue, investing points in Sol Ring, Maze of Ith, Library of Alexandria, and Balance.

Magnus II ran mono-red burn, with points in Fireball, Disintegrate, and Pyrotechnics.

Magnus I also chose mono-red (might be some compulsory thing, this, pertaining to all Magnī), similarly leaning on Fireball and Disintegrate, with Triskelion completing the allocation.

Sindre committed fully to mono-black, assigning points to Mind Twist, Mox Jet, Dark Ritual, and Icy Manipulator.

Jakob piloted a white-blue control deck, points put in Control Magic, Braingeysir and Black Vise.

Fredrik cruised in with last year’s red-black list; points put in Fireball, Demonic Tutor and Earthquake.

Abel presented a green-black brew; lots of Scryings cards and points put into Sol Ring, Demonic Tutor, Triskelion, Hymn to Tourach and Dark Ritual.Once again, the crew demonstrated its natural gravitational pull toward red and black, though this year, at least two decks made a credible attempt at white-blue.

Beefed Up.

And what a glorious Digital Camera it is.

After three rounds, play paused for dinner. Adrian and Vincent had prepared a Belgian wild boar stew, which—assisted by an enormous 1,5L bottle of Chimay Trappist Blue Grand Reserve—was efficiently dismantled. Coffee and Christmas cake followed, after which sleeves were rolled back up for the remaining four rounds.

Flopmaster Vincent serving Coffee.

As midnight approached, the last remaning match was underway: brother versus brother. Vincent and Adrian shuffled and flipped cardboard while fortifying themselves with Duvel and St. Feuillien Noël—both widely accepted performance enhancers. When the dust settled, Vincent was defeated. Seven rounds had been played, and the standings were clear.

Brother vs Brother, here represented by hands and bottles.

Magnus II emerged victorious, earning both first place and the title of Best Least Dunce. Adrian secured second place and likewise his continued reign as Supreme Leader (as a title exclusive to Elder Dunces, for political reasons). Third place went to Sindre, who achieved his best result to date and smiled broadly, reborn like a phoenix—despite the Dead Last patch still prominently displayed on his chest from December's Chrismas Bash.
The rest of the crew finished as follows:4th - Abel
5th - Magnus I
6th - Vincent
7th - Jakob
8th - Fredrik

Fredrik displaying his loot and being a little bit sad that Propaganda Minister Daniel wasn't present to ensure he wouldn't have to end up Dead Last.

Propect Jacob not being at all sad.

Vince's Trademarked Grin.

Magnus II was awarded the prize cards, including the actual Alpha-card, the most prestigious prize ever distributed in crew history. The remaining participants then selected merchandise from the prize pool according to their place in the standings.Finally, some departed by bicycle, others by car or on foot, while a few opened more beers and continued the evening. A final round of credit goes yet again to Arthur Figueroa for donating the prize card, which makes Dunce Crew appear far more legit than usual.

Fishing Bay Testival, Fiskevik, Sweden, 13th of December 2025

Written by Adrian, slightly edited by Daniel (getting pretty good at this, Adrian. Letters in the corrects order and all that)

The JourneyOn Saturday morning, five hopeful crew members gathered in Oslo, more precisely outside Magnus II’s humble residence in Tøyen: Supreme Leader Adrian, Elder Dunce Vincent, Ancestral Dunces Eyvind and Magnus II, and Apprentice Dunce Joakim. On the event page it was announced that the prize for the best Gentleman deck (no Mind Twist and no Library of Alexandria) would be an altered LOA aka Library of Alexandria. Eyvind had volunteered his vehicle for the trip, and with everyone tightly packed into the car, the group set off.After barely half an hour, it was time for a driver change and provisioning. Magnus II, Eyvind, and Joakim wanted to start the party early, while Adrian and Vincent were the designated drivers (or chaperones) for the occasion. The Elders allowed their subordinates to handle the shopping themselves, confident that very little could possibly go wrong.

Pretty darn succinct instructions

With the Supreme Leader now behind the wheel, the car set off once more, only for it to become clear almost immediately that the back seat was very full of inexperienced day drinkers. They had barely managed to toast, tell a few inappropriate jokes, and laugh at their own humor before announcing that they were already out of beer and that they would like to stop for more. For reasons that remain unexplained, it emerged that they had only purchased one beer each at the store.Adrian and Vincent exchanged a glance from the front seats and agreed to make another stop, while clearly encouraging the back seat to provision for more than twenty minutes this time. A music ban on Joakim was also swiftly enacted, as he persistently attempted to inflict irreversible sonic damage on the rest of the passengers with one experimental opera-free jazz artist after another. He loudly attempted to veto the decision from the back seat, but when asked how this was supposed to work coming from a mere Apprentice Dunce, the protests subsided. In the rearview mirror, Joakim could be seen desperately contemplating a solution.Another stop followed just before the Swedish border for both restroom use and additional provisioning. The next stop was a very busy shopping center and Systembolaget. The group remained on schedule, with roughly twenty minutes of driving left and one hour until the event started. Back at the car, bags clinking, the back seat contingent suddenly decided that lunch was required.A practical suggestion to eat a hot dog or two at a gas station was met with disdain. With the Elders waiting by the car, the others returned to the mall in search of food. Vincent and Adrian ate one pre-purchased sandwich each and quietly reflected on the apparent inability of certain travel companions to plan basic needs more than five minutes ahead. Twenty minutes later, everyone returned, and the journey continued.

Arrival

Another plethora of Dunces

The destination and venue for the day’s tournament was easy to find, and old acquaintances were greeted with hugs and celebratory drinks. The venue was a massive sports hall with ample space between tables and players. Faded signs on the walls indicated a capacity of 500, which is considered enough for a tournament of 32 participants in most cases.Joakim approached the two Elders and stated that he had learned from his mistakes and wished to respectfully request consideration for elevation from Apprentice to full Dunce status. Adrian and Vincent acknowledged that the apprenticeship had indeed lasted some time, though Vincent observed that, given Joakim’s history within the crew, there might be a reason for that. They nevertheless promised to dedicate some thought to the matter while playing.Thirty-two players registered for the event. Prizes were announced for both Best Unpowered Deck and the highly anticipated Best Gentleman Deck: an altered LoA. Vincent and Adrian piloted unpowered Gentleman decks, while the former back seat group played powered decks that were, at least on paper, Gentleman-compliant. Representing Dunce Crew, Eyvind also contributed a bottle of homemade stout from Dunce Brewery as a prize for the worst powered deck at the event.Five rounds of Swiss preceded a Top 8 cut. Round one was announced, seats were found, beers were opened, and decks were shuffled.

SWISSAdrian faced five fully powered decks and finished the Swiss rounds with a 3-0-2 record, landing in 10th place. Some observers attributed the result to luck, others were indifferent, but Adrian maintained that Takklemaggot might actually be a good card after all.Vincent finished 2-0-3, ending in 25th place. Notable matches included a game against Dunce-friend Daniel Cruickshank, who displayed a notably Dunce-unfriendly demeanor and crushed both small and large green creatures. The final round paired Vincent against Apprentice Joakim. Both players committed misplays, but as an Elder, Vincent recognized that Joakim could benefit from a confidence boost and allowed him to secure the win. This decision culminated in Joakim’s promotion in rank, making him the crew’s newest full-fledged Dunce.Joakim finished 3-0-2, placing 16th. He started off with two losses, but pulled through with three consecutive wins after. Notable matches (not counting the losses) includes Disco troll, UB flyers and the last, most important match of the day - his Dunce-Off against Elder Vincent.

Joakim on the right facing a somewhat challenging board state

Eyvind went 4-0-1 in Swiss and entered the Top 8 as seed 5. His only loss occurred in the first round, where particularly stubborn Sedge Trolls derailed his plans.

Eyvind's winning Berserk

Magnus II finished 3-2-0 and advanced to the Top 8 as seed 6.

The Crew post Swiss

TOP 8

Eyvind's Quarter Final Opening Hand

Eyvind, piloting a deck featuring Sprites, Mutations, and Berserks, faced Magnus De Laval in the quarterfinals and demonstrated his sharpest form, advancing to the semifinals. There he encountered Johan Guldbrandsson and was ultimately defeated. Sedge Trolls once again proved a difficult obstacle, but a respectable fourth-place finish was secured.

Magnus II in the semi's, other Dunces seen basking in his glow

Magnus faced Kalle Nord in the quarterfinals. The match unfolded as a four-game saga, one that would have delighted any Timmy, and concluded with a 2-1-1 victory for Magnus. In the semifinals, he faced Martin Hardeselius on UBR Robots, a player he had previously drawn against in Swiss. This time there was no mercy: a decisive 2-0 victory secured Magnus a place in the finals.

A demonstration of what's called a Democratic Dance, apparently

In the final, Magnus once again met Johan, another former Swiss draw opponent. Johan claimed the first game. Magnus won the second after a long, grinding contest. The third game went to Johan. An Armageddon Magnus had considered casting might have altered the outcome, but Johan Mind Twisted it away — a decidedly ungentlemanly act — and won the match. Magnus finished in second place and was awarded Best Gentleman.

Actual Finals, Magnus II participating as an actual contenter

Awards & AftermathWith the final concluded, Johan Guldbrandsson was declared the tournament winner, and prizes were distributed. Adrian received the trophy for Best Unpowered Deck along with an Expert-level pin. Magnus II was awarded Best Gentleman and ceremoniously handed a beautifully wrapped card. By all expectations, it appeared to be the aforementioned altered Library of Alexandria.

Award Ceremony

The wrapping was swiftly torn away to reveal an altered Lord of Atlantis, technically a LOA by all accounts, and thus Magnus II’s streak of Gentlemanry can continue unabated at Noobcon, which he also received an invite to as a prize for 2nd best.

LoA altered by AS Alters (Anders Schmidt)

The Journey HomeFinal farewells were exchanged, the crew loaded back into the car, and the return journey began under a lightly foggy night sky. The time had just passed 23:00, and the priority was reaching home and respective beds. A few deer and a fox provided the night drive’s only excitement, and the remainder of the journey passed in blissful silence, without traffic or further requests for shopping stops from the back seat.History would later note that, somewhat inconveniently, this was the best the Dunce Crew had ever performed in a tournament. Highly Unduncelike.

Adrian's Powerless & Gentleman Takklemaggot Deck

Vincen't Powerless & Gentleman Mean Green Deck

Joakim's Deadguy Ale

Magnus II's Robots

Eyvind's UB Aggro

Pizza, Powerless Players and Petty Grievances - Juledeng 25 / Christmas Bash 25, Oslo, 22nd of November 2025

Written by Daniel, witness reports written by the witnesses in question, heavily edited by Daniel

Dunce Crew's Christmas Bash 2025

Friday - PreludeAs the first event ever hosted by Dunce Crew (in collaboration with NOSMTG), our esteemed Supreme Leader Adrian was understandably on edge, knowing very well what his Underling Dunces are capable of screwing up on a regular basis (showering, basic sequencing, ordering pizza etc). Armed with this knowledge, he decided to take it upon himself to ensure that the Tournament didn’t turn out a complete cockup, relying heavily on the Dunce Crew West Coast Chapter, famously unaffected by the neural disadvantages so prevalent in eastern Norway, most likely due to the steady supply of seafood boosted by the mercury leaking from a submarine on the bottom of the ocean out West. That stuff enhances out-of-the-box thinking, which is what you need in these cases.The West Coast Dunces are all (all two of them) certified Sea Navigators, which explains how they managed to take at least three wrong turns on land, but they arrived safely and subsequently by armored transport Friday evening to the Dunce Oslo HQ (Vincent’s tastefully decorated apartment), even though the occupant and mortgage payer of said domicile was away across the Atlantic Ocean on non-crew-related business. Adrian received his guests with a pot of pasta and a series of unanswered questions due to the fact that his wife and kids somehow aren't professional Magic-tournament organizers and thus not ideal sparring partners. Turns out, neither were the West Coast Chapter, as they preferred burying their head in the pasta over tasks requiring intellectual capacity, probably envisioning more of a brawn-type support, which Adrian quietly accepted.Game Day - SaturdayThe Tournament Committee consisting of Adrian and the Left Coasters rose and shone to a degree somewhat early, having tons of stuff to prepare and transport over to the locale hired for the weekend’s event, and drove straight towards crew member Eyvind’s brick house to collect kegs of his excellent homemade beer to accompany the 50 liters of homemade Cider (brewed exclusively with only perfectly round apples from Hardanger) Sindre had brought with him from the Wild West.

50 liters of potential regret and poor choices

100 square meters of potential regret and poor choices

Having collected these and greeted a hungover Eyvind, the trip continued through the winding streets of Oslo towards the lodge, where NOSMTG’s Trygve met up with the crew to let them in the door and assist with the logistics of it all.After setting the place up for 40-odd attendees, people started arriving from the time the doors opened, and, as it turns out, all the way until game two was over, which made the pairing and game process even more finicky than Tolaria allows.The SwissGames started at twelve hundred sharp (that’s 12:00 or noon to you, probably), or ten minutes after that, depending on who you ask, and by two hundred (that’s 14.00 or 2 o clock to you), 38 players had arrived and were playing their posteriors off and sampling the different brews available to the participants. All the players received a wooden Dunce coaster, a button and a handout card, and everyone who brought a powerless deck received a Power Nein-patch in addition.

Socio-Economic Identity Marker

Handouts, more or less playable

Wooden Coasters Hand Carved by the Dunce Gnomes

Sindre, being the responsible man that he is, took it upon himself to do some serious quality assurance of the Cider he had brewed and brought, and made sure he tested all three of the kegs extensively to ensure that they all provided the best possible experience. Supreme Leader Adrian was for the most part concerned with everyone having a good time, which led to him not being able to focus completely on his games. Propaganda Minister Daniel had no such concerns, and drank exclusively fizzy water all evening, but still managed to lose most of his games, which is a testament to his prowess as a true Dunce.16 pizzas (that’s sixteen to you) of different varieties was procured and tastefully presented at the venue after game 4 (four), and in the space of 15-20 minutes they were all completely wiped from existence, their sole remnant a faint odour of melted cheese and stains on napkins, before the players resumed the bout.During game six, the tournament took a sharp turn towards a dangerous situation, in which Sindre (at this point being very satisfied by his extensive quality assurance) and another player ended up loudly disagreeing on finer points of the rules, specifically banding, and whether you’re allowed to lean over your lands for support after having quality assured a lot of cider over an extended period of time, but the disagreement was promptly resolved after some assistance from others and the mention of a sweet deal from the other player. The deal fell through, however, as it turned out not to be so sweet after all, but by then the excitement had died off, and it was about time to concentrate on the top 8 and the raffle.All participants received a raffle ticket, and participants could buy additional tickets to increase their chances at winning the fantastic prizes.donated to the event by several noted philanthropists. The proceeds (after expenses, the sixteen pizzas weren’t free of charge) was donated to Doctors Without Borders, an organization that’s probably the diametrically opposite of Dunce Crew in this universe.

Titanias Christmas Song donated by Slanfan

Cards Rules Altered by Old School 93/94's creator Magnus De Laval, tournament legal and donated by the OG himself

Dunce Brewery Beer

Farmstead MTG brought their whole YouTube production apparatus to the tournament, and filmed a feature table, which is being uploaded to their fine channel at some point in the future, by the way. Check out their stuffl here:

• Farmstead MTG's YouTube Channel

Top 8None of the Dunces present managed to make it to the Top 8 (shocker), so the Tournament Committee was free to concentrate on the actual Tournament from then on, and by then the Cider had been thoroughly vetted by its maker, letting Sindre focus his attention on … other things. Supreme Leader Adrian was still sure that something had to go wrong at some point, despite Daniel’s assurances that the arrangement was a great success by all measures.By the time the finale was played, the Tournament Committee had to quality assure the return of Sindre back to Dunce Crew Oslo HQ, but Trygve took over the reins as the House Grown-Up (which in truth, he had been all along), and the esteemed Committee secured a transport back to base, where all three of the committee had an eloquent exchange of experiences made during the evening, a bit skewed towards one participant’s argument over banding, but nonetheless very productive.Predictably, nothing went wrong, and the remaining players managed to resolve their Top 8 games peacefully, ending with the following standings:1st Place: Kjell

Kjell's 1st Place (the) Deck

2nd Place: Nils Håkon
3rd place: Tor
4th Place: Øyvind
5th Place: Kurt
6th Place: Johannes
7th Place: Bjørn Einar
8th Place: Odd AndersMore info and more deck pics can be found at the Tolaria Event Site:

• Juledeng 25 Tolaria Event Site

Dunce Crew Standings15th Place: Supreme Leader Adrian
16th Place: Joakim
25th Place: Eyvind
34th Place: Propaganda Minister Daniel
36th Place and Dead Last: Sindre MonsBest Unpowered10th Place: Espen Duncebane

Prize for Best Unpowered, Factory donated by Steinar, Altered by Daniel Ewald

Witness Report: Orbmaster Eyvind

"I started with a quick 2-0 victory over Tor-Christian, and then I was on Feature Table 1. I borrowed a Dunce Vest from Sindre (my vest was en route from Telemark after a tailor job) and met Daniel. Nerves completely shot, representing Dunce at our own event which is going to be on the internet for all eternity. My main problem is those darn Dibs and City of Brass. I'm so damn bad at remembering damage triggers, and now this is going to be online, where Trygve is going to go through the match frame by frame and expose me for the cheat I am. I expect this will be a matter for the annual board meeting, where the Elder Dunces will probably have no choice but to kick me out of the Crew—it was fun while it lasted!I tried to minimize the damage by putting dice on both the City and the Dibs to remind me of the triggers, but that helps so little (why is there a die on my City—that's odd?). It was a close match between two aggressive decks, where I barely managed to kill Daniel (Editors Comment: There were so many Daniel’s at this tournament that it’s impossible to know which one it was, except that it wasn’t Propaganda Minister Daniel) twice right before I would have killed myself with Dib and City (if I had remembered the damage, mind you).Anyway, I was on cloud nine and even managed to advertise the Dunce Imperial Stout. Joakim was also 2-0, so now it was set up for an all-Dunce table on the feature table in Round 3. Since they want varied decks on the stream, it wouldn't be shown anyway, but we negotiated with Odd so that the Dunce table in the Top 8 would be a feature match, regardless of whether it was me or Joakim who reached the playoffs. Reaching the playoffs was now a mere formality for the crew (Editors Comment: It wasn’t).After that, I went on to four quick losses. Skattum and Farmsteaders with power rolled over me, and I also lost a close match against Kenneth. I consoled myself by buying my 4th Bazaar from Steinar, as well as a Spring Factory for my extended playset (now at 17). Daniel (Editor’s Comment: Again, no possible way of telling which Daniel this is referring to) is going to alter that into Mishra's Brewery. Over and out from Old Dunce!"

Witness Report: Sindre Mons

"Started the day with a good breakfast made by our holy Supreme Leader. We took a quick trip past Orbmaster Eyvind to pick up the last of the liquid gold.
'
We started setting up, and right before people began to stroll in the door, I had a glass of cider. After that, everything probably started to get a bit blurry, and I think I mostly lost everything after the first little while.The first game, I went down 0-2 after some cheeky, but legal plays. The next game, I went into a monoblack-on-monoblack rendezvous with Tor Skogen, 0-2 again. I started drinking a bit faster to try and dampen the shame. The next game ended 1-0-1. I can't really remember how that game went, to be honest, but I think it ended with Winter Orb and the game ended in a standstill.The next game was a very pleasant meeting with David, who has quit drinking because of stupid things that can happen at Old School tournaments (the Cava-afterparty shower incident in Arvika). It actually started very well in the first round where he conceded the first game, but after his trip to the sideboard and mine to the cider-board, he ran me over.The next game was Slow versus Super Slow... we never finished. He was playing Arboria and probably had a plan to mill my deck. I tried to stop that with a Chaos Orb, but he had a Disenchant ready in hand to stop that again. So things just went slowly, and I got drunk and drunker. Then the pizza arrived, which I barely managed to remember to eat before it was all gone.I remember the next game very well, not because I remember what happened other than that I got my opponent really upset after I double-blocked with Royal Assassin and Su-Chi, and a slightly silly me claimed that he only took out the Royal Assassin because he didn't have enough damage to take both (but he played a Giant Growth as well). I also got a lot of stick for trying to hide my lands, which I was in no way trying to do—I simply couldn't hold my body up any longer. It eventually became the loudest match during Juledeng, partly because I was in a teasing mood and had an opponent who got very angry. The match ended 0-2.But we squared up at the end and I almost ended up buying a lot of cards I absolutely don't need, which would have resulted in me not having enough money to get home and not having enough money for food for the rest of the month. Steinar ended up taking all the cards in the end. A big thanks to Adrian who managed to talk some sense into me. I ended up drinking more and possibly managed to arrange an apple deal in Arendal for the next batch of cider. I vaguely remember going up to collect raffle prizes, but I got a bit of a hangover-induced anxiety attack a couple of days later when I looked through my binder and saw a card I thought I might have stolen or bought for some reason (Lord Magnus). But after consulting with other witnesses who were nowhere near as drunk as me, we concluded that I had actually won that raffle prize.I managed to sell an empty binder to Ola for 200 bucks. I tried to sell it for 67,000,-, but apparently it wasn't worth that much... I got a sausage in me, and Adrian and Daniel managed to safely and smoothly guide me home to Vincent's beautiful shower, which I did not sleep in.The day after, I tried to eat some breakfast. I managed to get a little bit down... but ended up eating a sausage at the gas station right by Sinsen before driving to Eyvind to drop off the Cornelius kegs. I drove out of Oslo, stopped and slept for an hour, drove a bit further, went for a little walk, drove some more, slept a little more, and got home in decent time for my dad's birthday party.I'm glad I have good friends who put up with me and take care of me when I'm at my worst (Editors Comment: Your best, Sindre. True Dunce to the core.)."

Conclusion: How many Daniels are needed to end up Mana Screwed?Despite the surplus of Daniels (plural: Danieei), the high volume and potentially dangerous game six, the lack of tissue paper in the gentlemen’s john, the uneven distribution of losses towards some of the dunces, the forgotten damage triggers from cities and lack of focus on games due to general responsibility based anxiety, the tournament was a huge success for all participants, which everyone agreed on and repeatedly announced, even the guy who was a bit nitpicky when it came to resting elbows on the table, slightly obscuring the land base.10/10, will definitely arrange a tournament again, and hope to see everyone present back for another round or twelve in 2026!

Prize for Dead Last

Real Basics alway tap for double mana

Prizes donated by Espen Duncebane, deckboxes and binder for the Bottom 8

Steinar's Jeweled Bird altered by Propaganda Minister Daniel

Raffle prize altered and donated by Tor

Brews & Orbs — The Tinn Farm Massacre

Tournament Report written by Adrian, edited by Daniel.

Friday ShenanigansAncestral Least Dunce Eyvind issued the summons, and those unburdened by responsibility obeyed. Deep in the Tinn countryside, his cabin was prepared for Old School Magic, homemade brews, hard liquor, sauna-sweat, and Chaos Orb physics experiments. Apprentice Dunce Joakim and Supreme Leader Adrian were detained at home by real life, but Dunce Sindre, Ancestral Dunce Magnus II, and Elder Dunce Vincent arrived under cover of darkness.Eyvind greeted them with enough taps and bottles to make liver function a theoretical concept. Cards were played, the sauna was populated (with and without beverages), and communication with the outside world ceased around the time Adrian woke up on Saturday, blissfully unaware of the carnage unfolding.

Saturday: The Quest for TinnAt 07:00 sharp, fueled by coffee and misplaced optimism, Adrian departed through rain, fog, and other Norwegian inconveniences. Joakim and his partner (a dog) were retrieved on schedule. The GPS subsequently interpreted “road” loosely, adding an hour of scenic logging routes and unexpected snow.Still, our timing proved merciful: breakfast bread was acquired, and the early arrivals remained unconscious long enough to recover basic speech.Coffee and food resurrected the group slowly, and as they regained awareness, an omninous fact emerged: Eyvind had weaponized brewing. Taps appeared in multiple rooms. Kegs lurked like chrome wildlife. A reserve near the sauna ensured continuous hydration, or at least its illusion.

Card playing resumed. But before the competition, a tour:
The barn contained a stage of obscure purpose and a bottle of Carolina Reaper liquor of even less obvious reason. Beneath it lay Goffaland — a recreational zone governed by Eyvind’s father-in-law, where activities included nail-bed lounging, axe and knife throwing, and archery performed under guidelines best described as “trust-based.” Chili liquor ensured regrets were immediate.Somewhat dizzy, they returned to the only battlefield that mattered. Six messy rounds later, a final: Eyvind vs. Magnus II. Magnus II, having hydrated exclusively with whiskey, reached a pivotal Triskelion moment. Whether guided by talent or ethanol, he secured the win.

Chili appeared. Saunas were populated once again. Revised40 reminded everyone that Mana Flare plus Drain Life equals arithmetic tragedy.Then Eyvind unveiled a secret event: The Chaos Orb Cabin Flip Championship. A duel for eternal bragging rights and a trophy large enough to raise eyebrows at customs. Chairs were cleared. Elbows sharpened. Beer continued its steady, enabling flow.

Vincent was eliminated first; his orb displayed more ambition sideways than downward. Adrian followed. Sindre and Magnus II put up spirited, rotationally unstable efforts but met similar ends.In the final: Joakim vs. Eyvind. For a brief time, they were equals. Then Joakim’s orb drifted into irrelevance. With 29 verified flips, Eyvind claimed the title.Supreme Leader Adrian presented the oversized trophy. Eyvind added his signature, inaugurating a tradition no one can confidently explain. But balance demands recognition of the opposite extreme. Thus emerged the counter-title: Flopmaster.Vincent earned it with a score low enough to spark debate about whether he was attempting flips or simply forgetting to hold on to the orb in his hand. He received a patch and card #8 from Puzzle Quest Chaos Orb — tangible proof that excellence is fleeting, but failure is dependable.

With ceremonies completed, the night slid once more into Cards → Drink → Repeat.Morning arrived, hangovers pulsed, and the Dunce Crew dispersed back to civilization — victorious, mildly damaged, and already planning the sequel.

The Plague 2025 - A Tale of Beer, Blood, and Bad Keeps

Tournament Report written by Adrian, edited by Daniel.

A Plethora of Dunces

Friday – The Gathering StormWe rolled into Drammen like a band of washed-up wizards chasing the ever elusive spark of glory. Vincent and Adrian were first to arrive, checking into the hotel around 16:00. The room inspection was thorough — two drains, one in the shower and one under the sink. Dunce Approved.The plan wasn't very convoluted, as per usual: eat, drink, and head up to Spiralen for the warm-up event — a chance to trade, get some signatures from Jeff Menges, and pretend that we’d all practiced since last year. After dissecting the pizza menu like paranoid scientists (trust issues run deep after the “shrimp incident” of 2025), we devoured two pies.Just as we were finishing, word came in that Magnus II was already in Drammen and about to drive up the mountain. A phone call later, we were outside, waiting to be scooped up. Then came the message from Magnus I — the Supreme Leader himself — summoning the crew to his lair later that evening.Abel suddenly announced he’d arrive a day early as well. Plans changed instantly. Warm-up glory could wait — beer and brotherhood took priority.We wound our way up the tunnel to Spiralen, where The Sorcery event was already raging. Familiar faces. Signed cards. Clinking glasses. All was well until round one, when Vincent found himself trapped in a Shahrazad nightmare — three subgames deep, losing his grip on reality while Raphael Ehrensperger smiled like a man who’s seen the abyss and brought souvenirs. It went to time, ending in a draw, but the scars ran deep.A dazed Vincent was escorted to the bar while the rest of us dropped from the event. A quick drive, a confused hotel pickup involving Abel, and by 21:00, the whole crew stood in Magnus I’s living room. Beers cracked open. Decks shuffled. Chaos Orbs flipped.
For a few hours, all was right with the world — the night filled with laughter, cardboard, and the faint scent of despair. The real storm would hit the following day.Saturday – The Plague UnleashedA storm named Amy rolled through the night, battering Drammen’s riverbanks as if to foreshadow the carnage to come. At dawn, a maxi-taxi gathered the troops: Magnus I, Magnus II, Adrian, Vincent, and Abel, winding up the mountain yet again towards Spiralen. Eyvind and Joakim joined shortly after, completing the seven-man plague host.Inside, tension simmered beneath friendly smiles. The titles of Supreme Leader and Least Dunce were on the line — and with four Elder Dunces present, blood was guaranteed.Round 1 – Opening the WoundsMagnus II drew first blood — his own. Bunny, a southern gull on Triple S, tore him apart 0–2. Straight to the bar.Adrian faced Daniel Cruickshank, utilizing Dead Guy Ale on Steroids. The man had problems pronouncing “Dunce,” and Adrian had beaten him before. With a cooperative deck and flips that hit (take note, Daniel), he won 2–0.Vincent met Jeppe Knudsen and his Robots. Trikes and maindeck Abyss made it a swift 0–2.Magnus I unleashed Angry Balls against Jan Erik Nilsen’s Power Monolith. Two clean wins — 2–0.Abel smiled his way through a beating from a “pleasant Frenchman” on Triple S. 0–2.Eyvind took a solid win against Ola Moun’s Erhnam-Geddon. 2–1.Joakim fought Marius Karlsen’s Pink Flyers. It went 1–1, then time. Marius graciously conceded the final game. True class. 2–1.Round 2 – The Spirits Rise (and Fall)Magnus II, now properly hydrated with beer, redeemed himself against a UWB Control deck. 2–0.Adrian met Simon Rokkjær on The Deck — a bad matchup on paper. A timely Blood Moon in Game 3 sealed it. 2–1.Vincent faced Marius Karlsen’s Pink Flyers. Wrath of God and Earthquake burned the skies clean. 2–1.A Dunce-off: Joakim vs. Magnus I — Robots vs. Angry Balls. No respect for authority. Joakim won 2–1.Abel was baffled into submission by a strange RW brew. 0–2.Eyvind was crushed by Jens-Ole Ejlertsen’s UW Triple Sage. 0–2.Round 3 – The Grudge MatchesMagnus II met old friend Audun Døssland on Candleflare. They traded blows, ending 1–1.Adrian fought Ole Rustad — master of Disharmony and Diamond Valley. A clutch Blood Moon again saved the day. 2–1.Vincent battled Sonny Nilsen on Triple S but fell 1–2 after a valiant effort.Magnus I faced Thomas Nilsen’s Rasputin Combo. Brutal 0–2.Abel was chewed up by Andreas Bjerkhaug’s mono-black horrorshow: Sinkholes, Icy Manipulators, Hypnotic Specters. 0–2.Eyvind met Bjørnar Vistad on Dead Guy Ale on Steroids and got flattened. 0–2.Joakim stumbled against Jeppe Knudsen’s Robots. 0–2.Round 4 – Dunce Wars and DesperationMagnus II wrestled Troll-Disco to a draw, 1–1.Adrian faced Johannes Rummelhoff on Counter-Burn. A brutal matchup. 1–2.Vincent lost to a twisted brew featuring Howling Mine, Underworld Dreams, and a splash of chaos. 1–2.Eyvind vs. Magnus I — another Dunce-off: Guardian Beast Combo vs. Angry Balls. The Balls triumphed. 2–0.Abel was steamrolled by Thomas Stern’s Robots. 0–2.Joakim fell 1–2 to Thomas Nilsen’s Rasputin Combo.Round 5 – The Breaking PointMagnus II, full of lunch and regret, fell 1–2 to another Dead Guy Ale.Adrian’s fate was sealed in the face of Andreas Bjerkhaug’s mono-black onslaught. 0–2.Vincent faced Steinar Lauritzen. Spirits were low, and Vincent’s match ended quicker than his beer. 0–2.Magnus I faced Raphael Ehrensperger and his politically charged Free Palestine WBRG deck. It looked good early, but Raphael flipped it. 1–2.Abel found form — and vengeance — crushing his opponent 2–0.Eyvind, by tha point dreaming of beer at home, fell to Daniel Cruickshank again, who still couldn't pronounce “Dunce.” 1–2.Joakim dominated Thomas Nesgård’s Erhnam Burn’em. 2–0.Round 6 – The Long GoodbyeMagnus II blamed lack of beer for his 0–2 loss to WU Control. The jury remains skeptical.Adrian met Raphael Ehrensperger — Free Palestine — an impossible deck to sideboard against, he claims. 0–2.Vincent was mercy-killed by Morten Andersen’s Counter-Burn. 0–2.Magnus I faced Kenneth Kristensen’s Tax Edge, but double mana screw made it short. 0–2.Abel stayed hot, beating Alex Häggqvist’s spicy UBG Mana Vortex brew. 2–1.Eyvind ended on a high note, winning 2–0 with textbook Chaos Orb flips.Joakim faced Ole Rustad and nearly dodged every Disharmony, but not all. 1–2.Final Standings – The Plague SurvivorsAdrian: 3–3 (23rd). Best Unpowered Deck. 100% Orb flips. New Supreme Leader.Joakim: 3–3 (24th). 90% flips. Would have claimed Least Dunce if only he still wasn't just an Apprentice Dunce.Magnus I: 2–4 (44th). 50% flips. Former Supreme (now Fallen) Leader.Abel: 2–4 (47th). Unknown flip rate. Positive vibes.Eyvind: 2–4 (54th). 100% flips. 0% patience. Least Dunce.Magnus II: 1–3–2 (55th). Blamed sobriety.Vincent: 1–5 (58th). 100% flips. 100% trauma.We came for glory. We found rain, regret, and the warm embrace of old friends.And as we stumbled back down the mountain, one thought lingered: a faint sense that we might actually be getting worse at this game.We’ll be back next year.

Shaharazad Hell

Friday Warm-Up

Vincent's Favorite Digits

Eyvind is beaten to a pulp

Daniel preaching to the congregation

Steinar wanting to crumple Vincent's Crumble

Former Supreme Leader Magnus I's Swollen Ball

Adrian's Loot

Abel's Dead Guy Ale

Adrian's Underworld Trolls

Eyvind's Guardian Beast Combo Robots

Joakim's UB Robots

Magnus I's Angry Balls

Magnus II's UB Robots

Vincent's Berserker v7

Xenic Route - Flipping Out At Istvan

Tournament Report from Istvan Open 2025, written by Adrian, edited by Daniel.

Departure

Fearsome Foursome

The sun had barely peeked over the horizon before our caravan of fools rolled out of Oslo. Elder Dunce Vincent, Elder Dunce Adrian, Dunce Magnus, and the freshly minted Apprentice Dunce Eyvind squeezed both limbs and luggage into Magnus’ chariot and set course for Kristinehamn. Spirits were high despite the hour, which might explain why we sailed past the proper exit as if bewitched. Twenty minutes later, an eagle-eyed Elder in the backseat noticed “strange omens” on the GPS. A hasty detour carried us through misty backroads and barren fields. Only forty minutes behind schedule, we rejoined the proper path.The border was crossed without encountering dragons, and after a Formula 1–worthy driver swap, we thundered onward. With but 40 minutes till tournament start, we skidded up to the hotel—only to be denied check-in by some mischievous desk sprite. The crew from NOSMTG arrived five minutes later, breezed through the process, and vanished with keys in hand. A grievance duly noted for the annual council.

Jolly merriment with Swedish brew

Many people with names attended

Trophy for best unpowered almost went to Adrian, but alas ...

The GatheringThe tournament was held at a conference hall a mere a stone’s throw from the inn. The hall was positively brimming with patched jackets and a musty odour. We signed in and were promptly handed goodie satchels brimming with merch. We greeted old comrades and procured a healthy supply of appropriate brew. Subsequently, Kung Markus entered with a definite purpose, seeking Eyvind. He pressed three Alpha Plains upon him. Eyvind feigned ignorance, but Markus would not be denied—“Kungen glemmer aldrig” (“The King never forgets!”). The cards changed hands. With a flourish, the herald announced the first round. Forty-six combatants stood ready. Six rounds awaited, with a Top 8 finale.Round 1Eyvind was reminded that Swedes can be sly tricksters—he accidentally suffered 5 extra wounds from a Juzam and lost 1–2. He stormed towards the tavern, fuming from his nostrils and foaming at the mouth. Adrian was kindly, but firmly crushed by another Swede, 0–2. Vincent faced ponderous opponents who required many moons to contemplate his tiny green beasts—ending in a 1–1 draw. Magnus fought valiantly but succumbed, 1–2.Round 2

Could we please get an order of Symmetrical Board States on table 12?

Internal Strife

Intra-crew violence! Eyvind and Vincent clashed. The Apprentice ignored his orders and unleashed an armada of Triskelions, sweeping Vincent’s 1/1 creatures into oblivion. 2–0. Beers were immediately prescribed as a means towards an amicable car ride back home. Adrian, armed with Strip Mines and Sinkholes, ground his foe into dust: 2–0. Magnus, meanwhile, had the luxury of a Bye—resting his mind and lubricating a parched throat.Round 3Eyvind faced Kung Markus himself. With Guardian Beast and Orb summoned, Markus despaired: “He never misses!” The apprentice triumphed, 2–1, forgetting again the ritual of peace-beer. (The King never forgets.) Adrian fell swiftly to Kalle Nord, 0–2. Magnus seized a narrow victory, 2–1. Vincent grumbled obscenities that would make a longshoreman blush while assailed by robots and even worse stuff, resulting in another draw!Food and quiz

Riddle me this, Batman

The warband marched staunchly off towards a taco buffet. None of us had better than 2–1 records, but spirits were nonetheless baselessly high. Quiztvan came next, where chaos ruled as points were tallied. Kalle Nord snatched the victory by the merest of margins, though Eyvind argued Adrian should’ve won—if only the crew had paid attention. Alas, a true Duncelike mistake. With bellies full and broken senses of pride, we marched off for Round 4.Round 4–6More battles were fought, even fouler curses were uttered, and - believe it or not - several more beers were consumed. Eyvind fell, rose, and fell again. Adrian summoned great power at the feature table. displaying his newly procured LoA to great success. Vincent endured torment from Island Sanctuarys and drowned his sorrows in hops. Magnus, fortified by two kilos of taco, was merciless. By Round 6, fortunes turned: Eyvind closed with a proud 2–0, Vincent finally triumphed, Adrian won in style, and Magnus, though faltering, stood tall.And lo! At the bar, beneath the gaze of Istvan, ceremonies were held: Magnus ascended from Dunce to Ancestral Dunce, and Eyvind leapt from Apprentice to join him as co-Ancestral Dunce. The crew rejoiced somewhat.

Kneeling on ceremony

RaffleThree wondrous prizes were offered to The Almight Raffle: altered Sol Rings by King Markus and Kalle Nord, and an Unlimited Tutor. Adrian’s name was called for Kalle’s ring, cheers erupted, and straight into his deck it went.

Adrian brandishing a rare smile

The Raffle Prize in question

Top 8Magnus actually made the cut, out of the crew of Dunces present. He crushed Game 1, was crushed in Game 2, and in Game 3 fate dealt him a cruel hand by dealing him a cruel hand. Alex claimed victory, but Magnus departed the Top 8 with his honor intact according to himself.

Top 8 shenaningans

Post Midnight Pizza & Retreat to BaseThe weary crew of Dunces had a case of the Belly Rumble, and the only cure was dough, tomato sauce and cheese based nourishment. Along the way, Vincent cast a vile and slightly too loud curse on one of his former foes, who totally misunderstood the brute, took it as an invite and decided to join the crew's holy quest. Eyvind, high on his new Ancestral status, was entrusted to fetch pizza. Bereft of reading glasses, he ordered what he thought was a noble “Four Cheeses.” When the boxes were opened, horror struck: shrimp, mussels, mushrooms, ham! Another grievance for the annual council. Luckily, the other pizzas sufficed. With bellies full (sans seafood covered in melted cheese), we staggered to the hotel and collapsed.

Four Cheeses and then some

Final WordsThe tournament was an absolute gem: fine people, old and new friendships, glorious merch, mandatory deck cutting (a great addition), legendary raffle prizes, a well-paced event, and enough beer to drown a troll (looking at you, Vincent). A perfect 10/10 from the Dunce Crew. 🍻Final Standings
Magnus: 4-2, Top 8, 6th

Adrian: 4-2, 10th

Eyvind: 3-3, 26th

Vincent: 1-2-3, 41th

Special: Art Report

Altered Serra Angel created by the one and only Tor Skogen (Perv Alter). Report written by Daniel.

Eivind comissioned this noble alter of his Serra Angel, and just look at the powerful stance, the dignified pose, the magnificent shading, the subtelty of the border art, and the delicate brush strokes. Truly an awesome 4/4 re-skin to cast towards an opponent to throw them off their game.

Vigilance is what the kids are calling it.

Disharmony Cup - Oslo, Norway - 5th of July, 2025

Written by Daniel, based on first hand accounts by the gentlemen involved in the incident

Magnus The SecondFinished 12thMagnus won 2 and lost 3 games using his Blue Black Robots Deck. First game was a loss, against The Right Honourable Mister Tor Skogen, aka Perv Altersen, in which Tor reportedly had 2 Moats on the board, and Magnus had an Abyss in play. Rumor has it that it was a long ass game, which certainly has a ring of truth to it. Magnus states that he regrets taking White out of his deck (as well as the heavy handed usage of a performance enhancing drug called Aquavit the day before), probably missing those Disenchants and a Balance, but hindsight's 20/20. Magnus managed to copy his Chaos Orb, but alas, missed a crucial flip and lost the game. We've seen Magnus' somewhat cross-eyed measure of a foot, and he doesn't report whether it was a miss or if he came up a few inches short. Again.Magnus won the next two rounds against respectively Audun and one of the Farmstead-guys, but lost against Thomas (the tournament winner) and Espen aka Espen from Drammen aka Espen Duncebane (cursed be Espen Duncebane!).JoakimFinished 8thJoakim played 2-3, using pretty much the same deck as in the Forest Cup (see the tournament report further down on this page), before he was beaten to a pulp by our own Eyvind just before the Top 4, sending Joakim home, and Eyvind further on in the tournament.EyvindFinished 3rdEyvind had a cool match against Mar-Kar in the first round, in which he had Guardian Beast and an Orb on his playmat. Everyone who's resolved one of those combinations, and everyone who's sat on the other side of one, knows how THAT works, thank you very much. However, Eyvind suffers from the very real disease called Orb Induced Nervous Twitchy Hand Syndrome, and his affliction caused him to miss all but one flip in this match. Mar-Kar managed to whiddle Eyvind down to 1 life, but our man, Old Dunce Himself, turned the tables (not literally, but, you know) and won the match in the nick of time. He concludes that investing in an Alpha Orb is just too painful given his very real medical condition (OINTHS - see above explanation), but he reportedly still spent his whole Friday exercising his flip technique. That's called dedication, kids!Other than that he only lost one match in the initial rounds, and that was against, take a wild guess: Espen aka Espen from Drammen aka Espen Duncebane (cursed be Espen Duncebane!).Eyvind continued as mentioned into the top 4, by crushing Joakims dreams to a fine powder and eating it in front of him while Joakim exited the tournament grounds. Next game was against Odd Anders, and the first turn of that match went like this: Odd Anders played a land and passed the turn. Eyvind, our man, played a land, a Sol Ring, a Mana Vault, a Lotus and then played a Mind Twist for 6. Now THAT is a turn one, if I ever heard of one. Needless to say, Dream Crusher Eyvind won that round, but then his luck was about to turn tail and run the same way Joakim exited a bit earlier. Next round he had 3 Triskelions on the board, but they were Huyrkul-yeeted off, and Dream Crusher Eyvind was slowly morphing into Dream Spoiler Eyvind. Last game against Odd Anders, Eyvind kept a hand with an Underground Sea, a Workshop and two Mana Vaults, ended up rude, tattooed and colour mana screwed, and subsequently died slowly, but surely to his own Mana Vaults.Even though his status as Dream Crusher ended up as more of a Dream Annoyancer, he still ended up at a cool third place, and the whole crew likes having representation in Top 8 and Top 4s and stuff. It's a sign of diversity compared to what we've managed to accomplish before. So big ups to Eyvind, a slightly smaller big up to Joakim, and a halway decent up to Magnus The Second!

Eyvind's Deck, finished 3rd

Magnus The Second's Deck, finished 12th. How he manages to make his pictures this dark in a fully lit room is a mystery to everyone.

Two dunces duncing. Photo by Daniel Ewald.

All the participants giving two thumbs up. Photo by Daniel Ewald.

Forest Cup - Karlstad, Sweden - 29-29 June, 2025

Written by Adrian, translated to English by AI Overlord

Day 1: The Pilgrimage BeginsSo it begins: a gentle chug out of Oslo S, the kind of train ride where the wheels whisper secrets and the seats don’t quite smell like shame. Vincent, already two beers deep before liftoff (a seasoned operator, our man), greets me like a man who's seen some things and chosen to double down. We grab more beer from a station shop, just in case the café on board has a nervous breakdown. Always be prepared, Boy Scouts and Dunces alike.Following long-standing tradition—born more from anxiety than wisdom—we arrived a day early. Better to sleep soundly and stumble correctly into battle than to gamble it all on a hungover race to reach a border-crossing train. The restaurant cart, contrary to our dire premonitions, served admirably. We passed the time discussing the geopolitical standing of Dunce Crew—a dubious gang with no territory, flag, or clue, but big plans for global expansion, and the ramifications towards any Crew Tournaments (coming soon to a town near or far from you).Karlstad. Arrival on time. Hotel spotted within 100 meters, an architectural shrug with doors that whispered threats. The elevator door was close to our room door, and they greeted like two exes at a family reunion. Ominous. Still, we were hungry, and chose to ignore it for the time being.Dinner was a burger. Not a good burger, not a bad one—just a burger, which paired well with more beer. We wandered to the tournament venue—a place called Matstudion på Terrassen, which sounds like a Bond villain’s summer home, but is really a charming little spot in the edge of a park, overlooking the end of the majestic Trysilelva. Inside: Magic cards. Sorcery. Beers. We nodded at people. They nodded back. It was all very cordial, like a poker game in a submarine.The night was young—so young it hadn’t yet learned disappointment. A Belgian beer bar tempted us mere steps from the hotel, but the live music was louder than our sense of adventure. One drink and out. Or so we said. Fueled by that ancient and terrible thirst, we wandered deeper into Karlstad. The beers multiplied. Eventually, as all nights must, it became time for kebab.Let us not dwell on the kebab.Day 2: Return of the Elevator6:00 a.m. The first hotel guest of the morning karate-kicked the elevator door, and the entire building shuddered. Adrian gave up on sleep, took a walk along the river. Breakfast was attempted, but the stomach had veto power. In a rare moment of clarity, we asked the hotel to relocate us—far from the elevator. They obliged. A good omen?We stumbled through light rain to the venue, clutching sodas and nuts like two hungover squirrels. There we met Christoffer Schyman, tournament organizer, who greeted us with the limp of a man recently betrayed by a curb. A bus had gotten the better of him the night before; he fell, he limped, he smiled. Still, he carried himself with the air of a benevolent Goblin King. He told us we were early. We thought noon. He said maybe one o clock. Could be two o clock. Nobody really knew.So we wandered through Mariestadskogen. Fresh air. Trees. A squirrel with judgmental eyes, albeit not hungover.Back at the venue, the universal cure: beer. Slowly the place filled. Seventeen participants in total. The tournament began with zero fanfare, which was perfect. Everything ran like a Swiss watch, if the watch had a limp and a sense of humor. Christoffer, leg elevated, laptop balanced, called rounds with godlike precision. We maintained a healthy intake of “repair beers” between games. Hydration is key.Lunch—real food. Prepared on-site by Christoffer and Robin, the culinary warlocks of Karlstad. Pizza, salad, pulled chicken burgers with homemade hot sauce that whispered truths in our ears. The room was full, the bellies fuller.The games? Let’s say we survived. Adrian finished 3–2 (thanks to a helpful bye), Vincent 2–3. Respectable in the way that a limping dog still chases a car. No Top 8, no regrets. We toasted our mediocrity with whiskey and beer.We stuck around while the Top 8 unfolded. Vincent and Christoffer bonded over their Mono Green decks. Adrian showed Christoffer what happens when a gang of elves meets a Royal Assassin. Sideboard strategies were debated like ancient philosophy. Christoffer, in a moment of either generosity or madness, gifted us cards. Notably, Concordant Crossroads from Legends—a mighty gift, an upgrade so dramatic it probably deserves a soundtrack by Hans Zimmer.The winner of the tournament was Alex Moynagh, armed with a cruel Blue-Black-Red deck that played like it hates joy. Prizes were handed out. The crowd thinned. But we stayed. Robin, done cooking for the world, wanted to play Commander. We obliged, borrowed decks, and tried in vain to decipher the cryptic walls of text. Somewhere in the fog of enchantments and forgotten rules, we found joy.Eventually, sleep beckoned.Back at the hotel, Adrian realized his phone had vanished. A call confirmed it was left at the venue. Christoffer and friends, true saints, delivered it. We were saved, so we slept.Day 3: Reflections of the DunceOver breakfast, well-rested and almost whole, we reflected on liquid causality. Was arriving a day early helping us, or simply prolonging the agony? Is there a better way? A sober way? Time will tell.Or maybe not.But the Crossroads is in our hands. The green tide rises. The Dunces will return.

Sleeving on the train

Never forget

Ass backwards

Tight security

Even tighter security, a Wyluli Wolf

Prizes and Handouts

The Food

Mirror Match

Tap that Assassin. Tap both.

Loot

Adrian's Deck (ooh, that's a pretty looking deck photo Adrian - Editors remark)

Vincent's Deck (... - Editors remark)

Winner Alex Moynagh's Deck

Fountain Cup - Tampere, Finland - 12-14. june, 2025

Written by Joakim, translated to English by AI Overlord

We (the undersigned, Amund, and Mar Kar) arrived at Gardermoen airport with plenty of time on Friday, June 13th—only to mess up everything that could possibly be messed up. Amund had booked an asinine ticket where he might - or might not - have a seat (also known as standby). I had gone through all of Gardermoen without actually checking in properly, which meant I didn’t check in on time, and Mar got pulled aside for a security check right before boarding. Whether by divine intervention or sheer luck, we all managed to board the plane in decent shape.Shortly after, we landed in Finland and made our way to the nearest train station, took two stops toward Helsinki, then caught the train to Tampere—our final destination. It was definitely time to hit the dining car for a beer or two. We were all impressed by the train system. Everything ran on time, and the trains were double-deckers with everything you could possibly need on board.The flight had taken its toll, and we arrived in Tampere around 18:00, just before the warm-up event. We made a mental note to travel on Thursday instead of Friday next year, as we realized the Finns’ warm-up events already begin Thursday evening. We missed the party and the sauna, but we’re considering arriving a day earlier next year. We dropped our bags at the hotel and headed straight to the event venue—a seriously cool spot focused on retro gaming, old consoles, and lots of gameplay.The warm-up event was Antti40, Antti’s own format with some unique rules:- You must build your deck using the Northern Paladins Alpha40 League framework.- All cards in your deck must be from the same set (Alpha, Beta, Unlimited, Revised, 4th+).- Cards work “as written.” That means, for example, Goblin Balloon Brigade in ABU gives all goblins flying for one red mana, unlike Revised where it only gives itself flying.- Otherwise, standard Alpha40 League rules apply: fake ante, and no mulligans except all-lander/no-lander.I brought my revised40forballers deck, slightly modified for the occasion. Amund hadn’t brought one, so he borrowed a mono-black from Antti, and Mar played a deck with questionable legality, in which he had acetone-wiped the black border off a Circle of Protection to pass it off as Unlimited instead of Beta. (Antti said it was okay, since it was technically a downgrade). And off we went.I met Amund in round one—his mono-black vs. my blue-black control. Close match, but Control Magic is pretty strong. In fact, it was strong enough that I cruised through the first three rounds with wins. Along the way I faced goblins and Alpha mono-green (sleeveless!). The fourth match was against another solid control-heavy deck that narrowly beat me after a long battle.Top 8 was called, and I was matched up against a guy who had already left, so I advanced on a bye. I won the semis, and faced off against the same goblin deck from earlier in the finals. Counterspells, Control Magic, and Hypnotic Specters were enough to bring the trophy home to Norway.The next day was the main event. Uber and/or other means got our delegation (5 from NOSMTG) to… a barn. A very nice barn, mind you. The event quickly escalated with Battering Rum, a custom 40% spirit sold at the bar and awarded to the top 8. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, they say—so I toasted with two cowards who clearly thought it was a bit too early for spirits at 11 in the morning. Whether I used up all my luck the day before or the Battering Rum dulled all my senses (noone will ever know), the tournament went rather poorly for yours truly, finishing 2–4, though several of the games were close calls.The deck variety in the tournament was exceptional, and we discussed how Fountain of Youth was actually used in the local Finnish meta as an answer to Underworld Dreams and The Rack, among others. Fun to see local metagame differences when not everyone plays spike-style.The tournament was well organized, with pizza delivery after round 3 or 4. One Finnish guy squatted like Gollum, shirtless, devouring an entire pizza without utensils, while red chili sauce dripped from the corners of his mouth down his chest. There was something primal about this Finn—sitting there with takeaway pizza in his hands and what looked like blood running down his face, uttering something guttural in Finnish. I'll never know what he uttered, but the blood sacrifice seemed to work properly. Play resumed, and all was well.Top 8 was announced. David was the only Norwegian to make it in, but he was eliminated early. The whole tournament was awesome, well-run, and we were thoroughly satisfied with our trip to the neighboring country. Our only tip: travel on Thursday next year so you can fully experience the entire event.10/10, will go again.

Main Event Deck

Antti 40 deck, note the beautiful Sol Ring Alter

Various moments in time between the 12-14 June 2025

MTG Arvika - Arvika, Sweden - 21.02-23.02, 2025

Written by AI Overlord based on a very dry summary by Daniel

Five valiant idiots of the Dunce Crew embarked on their grand pilgrimage to the MTG Old School Tournament in Arvika, Sweden, aboard a train that became a rolling feast of sausage, beer, and the noble art of Orb Flips. After arriving in Arvika with bellies full and pockets slightly lighter, they checked in at the tournament, only to be greeted by the ever-persistent Mitja, who met the idiots at the exact right time to coax gold from the crew’s collective wallet (which to be honest is all hours of the day), as well as Living Legend and Magic Artist, Anson Maddocks. Cards were signed, playmats were purchased, and the scent of commerce filled the air.Then, the mighty Magnus The First and the equally mighty but not-so-named Magnus The Second were summarily defeated by Norton—an outcome that hardly seemed to dampen their spirits, for more beer was procured and games of dubious skill ensued while they waited for their final member, Sindre, to grace them with his presence. When Sindre finally arrived, the crew retreated to an Indian restaurant, where over the warm glow of tandoori, Sindre unveiled his grand plans for a future event in Voss, Norway, and plenty of great ideas were exchanged over the spicy food. However, much like any good idea nurtured under the influence of alcohol, it was likely lost to the ether as no one had the foresight to write anything down.The night stretched into the early hours with more games, more trading, and a casual spectating of the Ante40k event, where Dunce-friend Steinar stole the show with his sheer audacity. Saturday dawned with four of the five crew members feeling the full brunt of their previous excesses. Magnus The First, eyeing the Supreme Leader Patch with a mix of longing and despair, led the charge to find provisions, in the form of nuts and whatever else would sustain them until the evening.The tournament, long as it was, could be summed up thusly: Vincent and Sindre engaged in a fierce battle for the coveted Dead Last position, but neither of them managed to claim the prize (in a repeat of last years heroic attempt at the same by Daniel). Adrian and the Magni (plural of Magnus) performed commendably, even reportedly ending at 10th, 9th and 8th in the ranking of Unpowered decks, but it was Magnus The First who claimed the prestigious title of Supreme Leader as highest ranking Elder Dunce, while Magnus The Second, highest ranking Dunce (but alas, not eligible for the Supreme Leader Title as he is of the non-elder variety according to the Crew Magna Carta) earned the title of Least Dunce, a crowning achievement in its own right. His not-so-Dunce-like efforts can be seen 8 hours 29 minutes into this stream:

As the night wore on, three members of the crew wisely retreated to their beds, but two souls were lured by the siren call of cava. Rumor suggests their surrender came sometime after three in the morning.One of them miraculously found his way to bed, but the final member—let’s call him Mr. Clean—suffered an encounter with the hotel shower, which decided to wage a water war of its own. The specifics of this struggle remain as murky as the floodwaters, but what we do know is that his cards survived the deluge. His fingers, however, did not, becoming raisin-like in their watery ordeal.

A dramatization of Mr. Clean's Saturday night

But at the end of it all, Dunce Crew emerged victorious in their own right—as per usual, despite the unpowered decks (or Power Nein, as we call it), the brilliant opposition and H2O's persistent attempts at soggy pieces of expensive cardboard, either by way of Salty Tears or faulty bathroom fixtures (as claimed by the unlucky, but squeaky clean crew member in question).

Placements and Deck Pics:77th: Magnus The Second - Least Dunce - 4-4-0
87th: Magnus The First - New Supreme Leader - 4-4-0
95th: Adrian - 3-4-1
140th: Sindre - 1-6-1
142nd (of 143 attendees): Vincent - 1-6-1

87th Place and New Supreme Leader - Magnus Primus' RG Apefest

Magnus Primus' Loot Shot

95th Place - Adrian's Mono Blackness

Adrian's Loot Shot

140th Place - Sindre's Dry Mono Blackness

142nd Place - Vincent's Poorly Cropped Mono Greenies

At The Mountains of Dunceness - (Dunce til Fjells) 25 - Supreme Leader Trials - The Plateau of Leng (Nesbyen-ish) - 31.01-02.02, 2025

Written by AI Overlord based on a vertigo-induced summary by Daniel

The tale of the Seven Who Stayed Indoors.Deep in the Norwegian mountains, where the air is fresh, the snow is deep, and the outside world is entirely optional, seven brave souls gathered for a weekend of Old School 93/94 (Ravenna Reprint), Dungeon Crawl Classics, and what scholars refer to as "questionable life choices." They came from both coasts—some from the west, some from the east, all bound by a common purpose: to shuffle, to roll, to consume, and to bicker about card games like proper Dunces.The weekend began, as all great sagas do, with shoveling snow. This was the only known instance of physical exertion, swiftly followed by the main event—the Old School Supreme Leader Trials. The battlefield was thick with green, red, and black spells, and many sighed dramatically over the presence of not one but two Mono Black decks, as though this were some great betrayal (which it objectively is according to several authorities on the subject). There was a break after a couple of hours for sausages and beer (for sustenance, of course), and after the dust settled, Prospect-In-Chief Abel seized the Supreme Leader Trophy and Chain. But lo! In an act of surprising democracy (or perhaps just to annoy the previous Supreme Leader Adrian), he chose to share power with Vincent. This was met with the kind of grumbling that truly defines a successful leadership transition, as well as a highly dignified face slap contest between Adrian and Vincent.At the other end of the spectrum, Magnus finished last, but was entirely unbothered by this fact, while Sindre, by virtue of being the only candidate eligibe for the honour, was awarded the coveted Least Dunce Trophy, which was, presumably, some form of progress.Saturday dawned with a chorus of groaning, the unmistakable sound of people regretting their decisions, but nothing cures a delicate constitution quite like dice, danger and dog hairs. Thus, the group set forth on an excellent Dungeon Crawl Classics adventure called Sky ov Crimson Flame, led by Magnus, who wielded the great and terrible power of the Judge. Many a die was rolled, many a poor decision was made. Daniel acquired the fabled Necropants, which, it was widely agreed, did wonders for his rear view. Magnus the Second grew far too attached to some other related pieces of leather. Abel committed a grand and treacherous betrayal (as one does). And in the grand finale, Sindre’s character, Goonar, selflessly (or perhaps recklessly) hurled himself onto the Big Bad Boss atop a tower to ensure victory after a particularly lucky roll, thus achieving the greatest of gaming honours: a death so dramatic that everyone remembered it afterwards.At the end of it all, the cabin was still standing, the players had survived (if only barely) even though 14 characters were slain during the DCC session, and a great time was had. A success, then, by all accounts. And if some brain cells were lost along the way—well, that was simply the price of glory.Supreme Leader Trial Standings:1st: Abel - 12 points - New Supreme Leader
2nd: Magnus The Second - 11 points
3rd: Adrian - 9 points
4th: Daniel - 7 points
5th (split): Vincent & Sindre Mons - 6 points
6th: Magnus The First (or last, in this case) - 5 points

1st Place - Abel's BW Deck

2nd Place - Magnus The Second's Mono Red Robots

3rd Place - Adrian's Mono Black "No Resources For You" Deck

4th Place - Daniel's RG Beauty

5th Place (Split) - Sindre's Mono Black "No Resources For You Either" Deck

5th Place (Split) - Vincent's Mono Green Weenies

6th Place - Magnus The First's RG Beast

Dunce-a-Thon - Supreme Leader Trials - Dunce HQ, 29th of December, 2024

Written by Daniel

Serious business was indeed afoot in Dunce Crew HQ the last weekend of 2024, in which Adrian celebrated his birthday (sharing it with another sandal wearing dude celebrated worldwide on the 24th), rules and regulations for the crew were hammered onto stone tablets, and cardboard was slung decisively onto playmats in the name of the allmighty Dunce.The day started off with woolen socks being distributed by Matron Mother Mortensen, due to a carefully maintained sub-zero temperature on the floors at Dunce HQ (to prevent burglars trying to steal various sharp implements and other valuables).Adrian had prepared impressive swag for all attendees (see picture below), which gave rise to an abrupt, but polite applause as response, which somewhat subdued the tension surrounding the important business at hand: Agreement surrounding the crew statutes.Surprisingly, the statutes was for the most part agreed upon by all Founding Members, henceforth known as Elder Dunce, and the gavel did indeed hit the table with few beads of forehead sweat ever reaching the icy floors. Criteria for membership were established (speak to your nearest Dunce Crew rep if you're interested), and arbitrary rules concering lots of different aspects were wholeheartedly "Hear, hear"-ed. After the seremonious agreement of statutes was concluded, Adrian served an excellent homemade sourdough bread with mustard, cheese and cold cuts, and the stage was set for the evening's main event, the 7 pts Singleton Supreme Leader Trials.All attending decks leaned heavily towards red (see deck pictures below), aside from Adrian's Blue White creation, so most games were fast paced, and several Falling Stars missed all of their marks completely even before any excessive alcohol consumption. Magnus The First, as last tournament's Dead Last, decided that the tournament was to be decided by best of 3, and the matchmaking through Tolaria was not being cooperative at all as per usual.Supreme Leader (at the time) Vincent started mumbling about establishing some new outrageous rules as it became increasingly clear that he would be losing his title, but the political move never materialized, as he was preoccupied with piloting his deck (which coincidentally was built by the man who became the new Supreme Leader).After everyone played everyone else, the standings were as follows:1st: Adrian - 12 points - New Supreme Leader
2nd: Magnus The First - 11 points
3rd: Fredrik (non-member) - 8 points
4th (split) : Magnus The Second, Daniel, Vincent - 7 points
5th and Dead Last: Jacob - 4 pointsThe Supreme Leader Trophy and Patch was ripped out of Vincents cold, dry-ish hands by the new Supreme Leader Adrian (photo documentation available on our Instagram), and Vincent gave a solemn vow to supplant his big brother some time in the future.Magnus The First handed over the Dead Last Trophy, as per custom, with the recipient kneeling reverently. The trophy is our intra crew Chaos Orb Proxy, so maybe Jacob will be able to put this to good use to climb back up the ranks.All attendees agreed that the Tournament was an astounding success, and rumor has it that the next Supreme Leader Trial is right around the corner, so stay tuned.

Miniature Triskelion swag hand painted by Adrian

1st Place - Adrian's UW Deck

2nd Place - Magnus The First's RB Deck

3rd Place - Fredrik's RB Deck

4th Place (split) - Vincent's Mono Black Deck

4th Place (split) - Magnus The Second's Mono Red Blurry Deck

4th Place (split) - Daniel's Mono Red Deck

5th Place and Dead Last - Jacob's Deck

X-mas Points, NOSMTG Christmas Tournament - Oslo, 14th of December, 2024

Written by Daniel based on a somewhat hazy summary by Adrian

OK, so the crew member in charge of record keeping for the event got hammered (I'm not naming names, Adrian), but here's the sum total of his memory of the evening, for what it's worth:Supreme Leader Vincent ended up at 1-5 (approximately), with a Mono Black Rack.Magnus the Second played some sort of four colored Burn, and ended up 3-3 (which, to be honest, is a disgrace to the Allmighty Dunce Cap).Adrian played Power Tron, and ended at 2-4, but gave in to Prince Alcohol's firm grasp around 8 PM, and missed every single flip after that (exemplified on our Instagram Account, complete with a pre-flip celebratory smug chug of beer). He claims to have assembled Tron several times, and we'll just have to trust him on that.Other events of note for the evening:Supreme Leader Vincent traded a Dunce Coaster for an Alpha Scathe Zombie (to be fair, the going rate is TWO Alpha Scathe Zombies for a Dunce Coaster, but The Propaganda Ministry chalks this one up to the alcohol consumption as well). He was also on the receiving end of lots of praise for the Dunceness of his crew (excluding Magnus the Second), which is always nice.Adrian received a prize for the Brownest Deck of the Tournament, traded for some Beta Mesa Pegasi, and received a Draft Box of Slanfan's Parc, whatever that is.In conclusion, the Dunce Cap was held proudly skyward during the tournament, and everyone says they had a blast.

Adrian's Power Tron Deck

Supreme Leader Vincent's Black Rack Attack

Magnus The Second's 4C Burn

Adrian's Loot

His Himselfness, Supreme Leader Vincent, displaying some powerful Forehead Game

Mini Tournament - Nesodden, 16th of November, 2024

Written by Daniel based on a sparse summary by Adrian

Some general trash talking, rumors of a power vacuum and general discontent in the crew's Snapchat group resulted in displays of dominance and a digital pissing contest. Certain members were "just trying on the Supreme Leader patch" for when they get to wear the distinguished piece of velcro and stitches, but this obviously led to current Supreme Leader Vincent having to take swift action to avoid further fomenting by the other Founding Plebs. The Drammen Chapter had to bow out due to unforeseen (or foreseen) circumstances related to rearing of up to several children, and the West Coast Chapter couldn't be bothered to travel all the way across the country to engage in this petty squabble, preferring to save his strength for the actual Battle of The Dimwits this upcoming Yule Tide.Former Supreme Leader, current non-prospect, Abel, fled Nesodden for a cabin in the woods for some reason, so the stage was set for Big Bad Brothers Vince and Adrian and new prospect Jacob ( "Who the fuck is Jacob?" is the official statement from the Propaganda Ministry) to go bananas with the Crew Charter and make life hard for all the other members of the crew by mandating asinine statutes favoring the Nesodden Chapter. These have yet to surface, but the West Coast Chapter is already drafting a Cease & Desist targeting the Nesodden guys.The event itself started with a bit of light sowing (no grievous bodily harm by needle reported), and our current Supreme Leader Vincent was given the official patch without any further conflict, which is a good sign. Yule-beer was reportedly also consumed in large amounts. For those confused by this: Yule-beer is a traditional Norwegian beverage, in which piss from the woodland creature called the Nisse, is harvested in large amounts (don't ask), and the foul liquid is made into a beer for next year's Yule.The report faxed to the Proaganda Ministry states that Mono Green, Mono Black and Blue White Flyers were utilized for the actual playing, though no results were reported. The Ministry interprets that this to mean that the Tournament was of the Casual variety, and that the results will not b hammered into the Crew's official record. Which is good. Berseks were beserked, sinkholes were fired off and Condescend is definitely not just a name of a Magic Card. The report also states that they had Zero Orb Flip misses, which sounds incredible, but may actually have been the case.The hatchet was buried in the end, as the photo of the correct Supreme Leader wearing his hard earned patch testifies, but the sound of hatches being sharpened and ready for the annual Yule Tournament the 29th of December is heard on both sides of the mountains divinding the rocky landscape of Norway. Till next time, buddies.

The Plague - Drammen, 5th of October, 2024 (+ another Supreme Leader Trial the 4th of October)

Written by Daniel

The weekend started with Vincent throwing his Chantilly-laced glove onto the ground, fresh from business on The Continent, craving the Supreme Leader title. He had apparently spent his whole time travelling raging massively over the loss of his title earlier this summer, and simply couldn´t cope with the hole shaped like a Leadership Trophy in his heart any longer. The rest of the crew accepted the challenge, and Friday was spent stuffing faces with hot dogs and slinging cardboard.Daniel, as Dead Last, was given the task of deciding the tournament format, and threw the rest of the crew a curveball by suggesting «Only red cards, no non-basics», while he himself brought his Counter Burn-deck. He still didn´t manage to win.After a night of gruelling games, brutal Chaos Orb flips (both hits and misses), shouting and general paranoia, Vincent managed to regain his position as Supreme Leader.Abel conveniently «forgot» to bring the Leadership Trophy, and some crew members speculate whether he will actually seccede or attempt a power play of sorts. Exciting times internally in the crew, to say the least.Saturday came, and Norway´s biggest OS Tournament, The Plague, was on the agenda, an excellent event hosted by prime people, featuring a great bunch of players. Drammen, Norway´s capital city between 1499 and 1974, was chosen to host the grand event, and the venue Spiraltoppen, an ancient bronze age pet cemetary turned into a restaurant, graciously accepted the patronage of 64 hungry and thirsty attendees.The Crew surprisingly gained a new prospect early on in the tournament, when Magnus #2 (as opposed to Magnus #1) snatched a patch and claimed a spot. Before anyone had time to react, the claim became an established fact, and now there´s nothing anyone can do about it, so I guess we all have to live with it. The fact that our last propect is still in posession of the Leadership Trophy, and posession being nine tenths of the law, means that the spot was indeed available for claimants, and nobody knows what happens to Abel if Vincent manages to grab a hold of the trophy one day. Certainly nothing pleasant.After six excrutiating rounds, several beers and/or other beverages, and a nutritious meal inbetween, the crew standings were as follows:

Daniel: UR Counter Burn. 58th - 1-0-5 (the one being a bye).Quote: «Won 1 out of 15 games. Magic sucks. Why do I even bother?» He then proceeded to trade most of his blue cards and three Revised Volcanic Islands for a Chaos Orb and a playset of Ball Lightnings, before speeding off into the dark cackling about mono-redness being what Garfield really intended.

Adrian: Mono Black. 54th - 1-0-5.Quote: «Several close matches, but many mulligans and floods. Could have left my sideboard at home, as I didn´t see any of the cards sided in. Believe I ended up at 50-something, ahead of Daniel and Vincent, but behind Abel and Magnus (#1). Still, I had a blast even though it all went to shit.».

Vincent: Mono Green. 56th - 1-1-4.Quote: «I’m happy that things are back to normal, now that the Supreme Leader title is back in my posession, even though I have yet to see the actual trophy.» Vincent refused to comment on the actual tournament, i.e. The Plague.

Magnus #1: RG Ehrnam Burnem. 28th - 3-0-3.Quote: «I’m moderately pleased.» A rare admission of the faintest of pleasures from Magnus there.

Abel: WRB Stuff. 49th - 2-0-4.Quote: «Won against empty chairs, lost against real human beings.» Former Supreme Leader was heavily hosted on stream bouncing a Chaos Orb impossibly far from any target.

Magnus #2: Something.Nobody has heard anything from Magnus #2 since the snatching of the patch, but we believe he ended up very close to top 8. Ill tidings indeed for the upcoming crew tournaments, as we probably have another Prospect-Leader-Type-situation on our hands in the future.

A definite highlight of the tournament (aside from Daniels salty tears while falling several times in the dark on his way from Spiraltoppen down to the city center) was Norton and his Community Binder, an altruistic project leaving the good samaritan in a philanthropic ditch by comparison: A binder containing cards for free, and not just chaff, but perfectly playable staples, where the idea is that you take what you need and leave cards you no longer need for somebody else. Abel seemed to «forget» the last part, much like the Leadership Trophy, but the thing became a hot topic among the attendees.Big ups to Norton and to Mitja who brought his cardboard emporium, and extra big ups to Daniel E. and Erland for arranging such a splendid event. We´ll be back next year, no matter who is in charge of Dunce Crew, that much can be established with a certain degree of confidence. I think.

Supreme Leader Trials - Oslo, 2nd of August, 2024

Written by Daniel

The day started off fairly civilized, with homemade Smash Burgers served by (at that point) Supreme Leader Vince on his balcony at an undisclosed location in Oslo. The friendly banter revealed nothing of the underlying tension soon to be unleashed over the playmats, but a lingering hint of the ravaging of friendships to come complimented the tang of the homemade pickles adorning the tasty, but very flat burgers.After an abrupt (perhaps a bit too abrupt) proclamation of tournament start by Adrian, the evening´s main event was set to begin. Colorful playmats adorned the oversized living room table, and the space between the table and the walls was minimized by Supreme Leader Vince in order to have a psychological advantage in the tournament. Smart move!Abel also decided at some point to bring a playmat in a singularly nasty color, poised to throw the concentration of even the best of players. All the small advantages pile up, and nobody knew at that time what road all these factors would carve.Due to severe space/time-continuum restrictions, the format was decided to be BO1, with a Ravenna reprint policy suited to the varying socio-economic standings in the participant pool. Speaking of which, the tournament consisted of the Four Founding Member - Daniel, Adrian, Magnus and Vincent - as well as Crew Prospect Abel. The number of participants being 5 put us in an awkward position, where we almost unanimously booted the Prospect out the door on an extended booze run, but his pleas were heard, and one of the participants had to sit pinned between the table and the wall each round.The Decks were more or less tuned for the BO1 format (see Crew Decks below), and the archetypes represented were these:Adrian: Mono Black
Vincent: G Berserk
Daniel: UR Counterburn
Magnus: RG Aggro
Abel: WB Deadguy AleThe nervousness morphed into pure aggression in sync with the involuntary discarding of hands and blasting of lands taking place over the playmats, and the record for most concedes went to Daniel, who realized that his deck wasn´t optimized for BO1, and in fact not optimized for Magic: The Gathering at all, with not enough counterspells (in a counterburn deck), and not enough artifact hate, and I quote: «There´s either something wrong with the deck, or the deck has the wrong pilot.» Counting the number of Dead Last trophies that Daniel has, it might be a case of the latter.A City In The Bottle-moment almost proved too much for Daniel, relying heavily on Arabian Nights cards, but his temper was contained, and no one ended up with physical injuries, despite the fact that he had promised eternal damnation for the first player resolving one of those.Halfway through the tournament it became clear that Adrian and Abel were in the lead, and the other three desperately behind, and the evening culiminated in a duel between those two players. After a harrowing clash of heads, the crew prospect actually managed to wrest control of the board state, and before the rest of the crew members present had a chance to react properly (according to Crew Rank, which would have automatically disqualified Abel for breach of the Winning Above His Station-clause), Abel had won the final, much to his opponents chagrin.Passive aggressive and active aggressive protests were lodged, but protocol had to be observed, and the Supreme Leader Title went to Prospect Abel. In order to avoid Grievous Bodily Harm and other negative consequenses, Abel proclaimed that he wanted to remain a prospect, and this cooled down the temperature in the room some.So thus, an unprecedented event occured, in which a player of the bottomest rung managed to claw his way to the top, but time will tell how long he manages to stay there. Some say that the Founding Members are currently sitting in a dark underground facility, hunched over aged, dry blueprints, plotting to tear his ass off the throne within the year, but these are just rumors.The last game of the evening was to decide Dead Last between Vincent and Daniel, and in accordance with tradition, this trophy (a screaming void in the hand where a nice Dead Last Trophy card should have been) went to Daniel, and proud he is of that fact, let me tell you.Next Supreme Leader Trials will be held as soon as possible, and until then, the scandalous results of the tournament will have to continue to be a dark cloud hovering over the crew, casting a pitch black shadow over the lives of everyone but the Prospect. Until then …

Homemade burgers pounded so flat that you had to put two on top of each other to approximate a burger.

Quiet contemplation and simmering saltiness. Observe the space between the wall and the chair reserved for the fifth player to cultivate a percolating uneasiness in Vincent´s opponents.

Multimedia Manager and President of the West Coast Chapter Daniel trying to hide his fear, but the scent of it never left the room, clearly demonstrated by the facial expressions of the players in the background.

Former Supreme Leader Vincent reverently handing over the trophy to New Supreme Leader Prospect Abel.

Supreme Leader Prospect Abel proudly displaying his trophy, and former Supreme Leader Vincent graciously congratulating Abel.

Winning Deck: Abel - WB Deadguy Ale

Daniel - UR Counterburn (confusingly counterless)

Adrian - Mono Black Nasty

Magnus - RG Aggro

Vincent - G Berserk